The Ultimate Rejection Letter

I really wish I would’ve thought of this during my job hunt last year. For those of you receiving rejection letters, take careful note on how to proceed:

Herbert A. Millington

Chair – Search Committee

412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University

College Hill, MA  34109

 

Dear Professor Millington,

 

Thank you for your letter of March 16.  After careful consideration, I

regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me

an assistant professor position in your department. 

 

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually

large number of rejection letters.  With such a varied and promising field

of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals. 

 

Despite Whitson’s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in

rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at

this time.  Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor

in your department this August.  I look forward to seeing you then. 

 

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

 

Sincerely,

Chris L. Jensen

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